The movie opens with a scene--which is unrelated to the actual
movie--of a spec ops soldier moving through the forest. The shot is
presented through impressive variations of first person and third
person perspectives. The commando sneaks up on an enemy camp. He
dispatches three enemy soldiers and begins to collect intelligence when
he, surprisingly, discovers a woman held captive. While trying to cut
her free, he accidentally slices his own hand, causing a change within
himself; a few moments later, 28 Days Later-ish, he has morphed into a
zombie and attacks the woman.
The above scene is immediately followed by an animated title sequence
which was actually really well done and worth watching a few times.
But, it feels like it should be used as the opening credits for a
syndicated Zombie television series.
Up to this point, five minutes in, the movie is looking to be a
promising zombie flick. Unfortunately, it appears that the scene,
described above, must have been a bait and switch. I certainly feel
like I was duped. One can only imagine that they used the half decent
opener to present to potential investors in an attempt to generate
financial support for a full length movie... because what comes next is
a catastrophe of a film.
Four hundred and fifty some days after a zombie apocalypse, a group of
survivors are being escorted by a pair of "military" personnel through
the country, toward one of the last havens of humanity. Some place
called "Imperium" or something. I loosely use the word "military"
because these two jackholes are merely caricatures of their roles. They
remind me of the soldiers, in charge, in the underground bunker in
Romero's Day of the Dead.
Along with the soldiers, there's an overly protective Father with his
20-something, naive, daughter. There's a horny young man, trying to get
into the daughter's pants, a Christian zealot, pygmy, pregnant, raped,
black woman, and a young attractive foul-mouthed brunette who, for
inexplicable reasons, is letting the middle aged father plow her,
whenever and wherever they get the chance.
Also, there's a prisoner, orange jumpsuit and all, who I mustn't
forget, because he is the protagonist of the story. Apparently, he is
one of the scientists responsible for the zombie plague. The apocalypse
was caused by a vaccination, went wrong, that they had developed in the
So... they're bringing this guy, in chains, across a zombie ridden
land, back to Imperium... so they can execute him. I know, this sounds
pretty dumb: probably because it is. The only person who knows how to
get there is Major Gibson, who couldn't lead a platoon of men out of a
wet paper bag.
I'll note, here, that up to this point I seriously thought that the
movie was trying to be a comedy, like Zombieland or Shaun of the Dead.
The character's antics were highlighted by the plucky strumming of
stringed instruments, like something straight out of a Looney Tunes
cartoon. Major Gibson, while hunting a rabbit, does a perfect Elmer
Fudd impersonation: "Shhhhhh.... I'm hunting a wabbit!"
The Father and the slut are banging in the woods. He's railing her from
behind, when the two are interrupted, and he loses his erection, to her
disgust. I nearly blew cola out of my nose. Someone decided that it
would be cool to add a sound effect of his "pull out". Which ended up
being a wet, sloppy sucking noise, pretty much the same as you'd expect
to hear in a scene with zombies digging through the intestinal tract of
a recent kill.
Not-at-all related to the abundance of dumb-f**kery, of pretty much
every person in the group, an unfortunate incident, with the Major,
involving a bear trap, a zombie, and a machete, causes them to decide
to seek shelter in a nearby abandoned school.
From here forward, the movie takes a decided turn toward actual horror.
The party gets attacked, by a lone zombie, after they've barricaded
themselves up in the school chapel. They decide that the "freshness" of
the monster could mean that there are other survivors nearby, or at the
very least, other zombies. As such, they go out to explore the school
and find themselves facing an auditorium filled with the creatures. But
something obviously queer is going on: one of the zombies has the power
to bring the undead back to life. Of course, they decide to abduct this
'messiah' zombie, who could potentially be the cure for the plague.
Now the film becomes muddled again with only about fifteen to twenty
minutes to go, there's no clear path as to what they ought to do. The
Major, who is the only one who knows the way to civilization, recently
turned zombie from his injury, could be made un-undead. But that path,
in the story, is quickly tabled when the daughter, for no explainable
reason, blows the Major's head off at the moment he has just been
So... they (the writers) decided to just end it all in a typical
downward spiral of chaos that ultimately has the film coming to
conclusion with everyone dead, except for the scientist, who has pretty
much given up, and appears poised to throw himself into a herd of
zombies, cause he would rather be dead than "living amongst the dead."