I have a sickness. I find appalling movies gratifying. I've become so
fond of them that I'm literally filled with glee when I see one. The
worse it is, the more joy I appear to gain from it.
Thus, I am a living, breathing meter of terrible. And I can tell you that my meter is off the charts on this one. I'm practically reeling in elation, and trust me, this is bad for you sane people.
(The following text will be a series of hyperboles designed to push forth the general impression that the movie was bad. If you feel the need to stop reading now, I forgive you. Go in peace.)
This is the first time I've ever looked at a film and said to myself, "You know what.. I think I could do better. By myself even." The special effects are downright horrifying. Horrifyingly bad that is. I have seen a friend of mine work with freeware software for a class project, and even he did better than what I just saw. These special effects are on the same level as "Birdemic" and "MegaPiranha." They are that bad (I recommend both movies, by the way.. Though you may hate me for it).
How about the acting? Believe me, watching a dog bark at itself in a mirror will give you more empathy than anything you'll get from the acting in this one. How any director could look at this and say, "Yes, this works. It's really creating the mood," is a mystery to me. I don't think any other actors could possibly make an impending catastrophe appear to be less worthy of heartfelt emotion. The dialogue was so incredibly dry, and deeply inept.
The best acting in the whole movie had to be the bums. They were great.
What about the plot? Plot holes don't just exist, they hit you in the face with a shovel. The level of stupid is so high that it might actually seep out of your screen and get on you. I'm not going to bother giving examples, that would be cheating. But trust me, common sense doesn't exist in this one.
I realize that budgetary concerns are commonly used as an excuse, but realistically there is no excuse. Amazing movies have been created on very tight budgets. If your special effects are bad, tighten your acting. If the acting is poor, smooth out the plot. There are ways to concentrate on the winning points of your feature. Even with everything else being terrible, your movie can still be entertaining and fun! This director failed to pick a winning point, but instead attempted to do everything at once, and the film had almost no noteworthy moments. Sadly, there was simply just no entertainment.
The acting producer should be able to tell right away that something is wrong, and make appropriate course corrections for the production. For instance, the special effects: "Let's see, earthquakes, falling debris, tsunamis, satellites, lasers, nuclear explosions, submarines, bullet wounds and military technology ambiance. And I have a budget of.. Ah hell no. Something's got to go." This would have been a better answer than, "Awwright! We have a computer! Let's do it!"
Lastly, I confess that it brings me joy to inflict this sort of insipid cinema on people. Please watch it. For me? xxoxxo, bye bye now.
Deep underwater in the Marianas Trench an accident results in a devastating Tsunami that destroys the Hawaiian Islands as it continues toward the west coast. Panic ensues all up and down the western coast of North and South America. In an attempt to lessen its impact, scientists launch an underwater explosion that inadvertently makes the tsunami more powerful and focused on Los Angeles. Scientists rush to a solution while the military begins planning for the worst. Los Angeles begins emergency evacuation. Lives and loves are lost even as a brash young grad student comes up with a solution: start the mother of all earthquakes to counter the rushing torrent and raise the continental shelf off the coast of the United States.
Added By: Kaiac
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