Night Train to Terror

1985

Action / Horror

Night Train to Terror (1985) download yts

Synopsis


Added By: Kaiac
Downloaded 73,326 times
July 14, 2016 at 8:33 PM

Director

Cast

Richard Moll as Otto
Cameron Mitchell as The Lieutenant
John Phillip Law as Harry Billings
Marc Lawrence as Mr. Weiss / Dieter
720p 1080p
750.37 MB
1280*720
R
23.976 fps
1hr 38 min
P/S Unknown
1.43 GB
1920*1080
R
23.976 fps
1hr 38 min
P/S Unknown

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by polysicsarebest 10 / 10

Everybody but YOUUU!

The first time I saw this, I was in awe. The second time I saw this, I was in disbelief. The third time I saw this, I knew what to expect, but I still remained entertaining. This film is COMPLETELY insane and mindboggling, and it's nice (though strange) that this film seems to have gained newfound recognition since being recently released on DVD. But.. holy crap.. to those who HAVEN'T seen it, you just have no idea what you'll be getting into.

This is a masterpiece pretty much, and it's perfect for anyone with a short attention span. God and Satan are sitting on train, deciding the fate of people as a really horrible band plays music. They play the same song for about 15 minutes of the film's duration, the singer sometimes break dancing while some females do cheers and stuff. It's like a terribly-produced music video (with the terrible outtakes) for a terrible song that has absolutely no connection to the rest of the movie except that God and Satan occasionally mention it as if it's some kind of blasphemous Satanic metal of some sort.

As this band plays, God and Satan watch three different stories. These stories are actually three different films: The first, the unfinished Scream Your Head Off, which is a confusing tale about... uhhh... a guy being forced to drug women so a guy can chop them to pieces? Or something?! None of it makes any sense, and it probably wouldn't have made sense had the film been finished. But not only was the film not finished, but we are left with a CUT version of the unfinished film. So, we have a story here that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but it is certainly entertaining enough: We have Richard Moll strapping extremely attractive naked girls down on tables, molesting them, and then using a hacksaw to cut them to pieces. It's all pretty gory (there's a rather brutal decapitation scene near the end), it's filled with things that make no sense, and there is karate in it. And did I mention naked chicks? They're here. Great story.

I really like the second story; in fact, it's probably my favorite of the bunch. It's made of a movie that was called Death Wish Club. We have a guy that looks like James Vander Beak who falls in love with a porn star, and they then decide to play suicide games. Then, we rush through a 15-minute version of a probably-90 minute film. So, instead of character development or much story development, we're left to look on as new characters are introduced randomly and some of the characters even change appearances, which is even more confusing. Take one scene for example: The main character is sitting next to his porn star girlfriend, who has a completely different haircut (and looks like a boy) and he appears to be angry at her for no apparent reason. If he's so angry, why is he participating in suicide games? Why is he participating in the suicide games in the first place? And why does the person who is HAVING the suicide games not just kill James Vander Beak and get it over with instead of having them go through the games? These are some questions you'll be asking yourself probably, but it's best not to think too hard: This story is amazingly hilarious. There is absolutely no continuity because of the cutting, so there is adding narration to explain what the hell is going on. There is a killer clay bug, there is a man being shocked to death (one of the most amazing scenes in history... seriously), there is a head exploding. Great story. Makes no sense.. but it's a great story.

The next story had many releases on video, but it is probably best known as "Cataclysm". This story features a ton of actors from the previous stories, and it suffers mainly from some pacing problems. Unlike the previous stories, this goes on and on and on for about 35 minutes. And it's sort of pointless, as you watch as the movies goes on and on with no idea what IS going on. Evil Satan nazi turns into HORRIBLE-looking claymation creatures and sucks on people and makes huge explosions in old men's skulls and crucifies a puppet. Or something. Some stock footage here, some unexplainable deaths there (why does that one character gets killed, anyway?

Or that other one -- what did he do?!); it's best not to think about it.

As my friend recently asked me, "How did this film even get MADE?" I have no idea, but it's certainly amazing for those into trash films. Check it out.

Reviewed by Steve Nyland (Squonkamatic) 9 / 10

What in God's Name IS this?

I first encountered this title when researching TERROR TRAIN; quite naturally it would pop up all the time. Then when I started seeking more information on John Phillip Law, again, NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR would always pop up & just sounded interesting -- Cameron Mitchell playing God & Satan, having a debate about whether mankind is inherently good or evil, or just stupid. Charles Moll from NIGHT COURT [the big bald baliff dude] is also a contributor, if that is any kind of plug. But this is one wacked out movie: My buddy and I watched it the other night while we were tankin' up on Molson's Canadian, and ended up screening it TWICE because

a] the movie makes no sense b] it is still EXTREMELY entertaining even with the annoying has-been pop/new wave Meneudo band playing between segments. The segments are also utterly bizarre, with no coherency or continuity. Not between them as a whole, but from SHOT TO SHOT in all three "segments" of what is purporting to be an anthology piece I.E. VAULT OF HORROR. The stories of all three make no sense, even now watching it sober: Part one deals with John Phillip Law's imprisonment in an Evil Sanatorium that harvests body parts. Ok great: but there are about six sub plots involving women Harry supposedly marries/has relations with, a Nurse Ratchet from hell, a lobotomized Warden, and Charles Moll menacing & groping at young actresses in various states of nudity & then hacking them up. The Lobotomized Warden made me laugh my kiester off, but what the hell did the rest of it have to do with anything? This is a rhetorical question, by the way: Read on. Segment two is about a middle aged man who becomes obsessed with an adult performer and is annoyed when she falls for a guy who falls for her after seeing her in a porno flick one day when he STOPS BY A FRATERNITY HOUSE FOR A BEER???? The guy looks like he is pushing 35: if I walked into one of the Fraternity houses on the SU hill one day, totally out of the blue "FOR A BEER" I would be beaten and arrested. The guy tracks her down, they fall in love, and the middle aged man enrolls them all in a "Death Club", consisting of a bunch of desk/chairs like you'd see in a classroom sitting in what looks like the backstage area of an actual film under production in the same building. There are six members of this Death Club, all of whom had their audio tracks seperately recorded or dubbed by other actors -- Nobody is speaking their lines naturally except for the black dude, who provides the film's second biggest laugh after the Lobotomized Warden when he is fried in an electronic game of Russian Roulette. The segment has no continuity from scene to scene, with voiceover narration from someone not in the film explaining what is happening. The final visit to the Death Club has the surviving four members [or is it five?] strapped down in J.C. Penny's sleeping bags while a demolition ball is twirled so that it's guide wire frays against a saw and smashes the skull of NEITHER ONE OF THE THREE in the love triangle to a pulp. It's cut, but it must have been one heck of a mess. The closing segment reminded me of the closing segment from another personal favorite Horror Anthology feature: Rod Serling's NIGHT GALLERY, with Nazi atrocities from the past being re-lived in the present by people who don't seem to have all been working from the same script for the same film. There are bizarre claymation segments involving a rampaging Golem, a Goth Rocker Nazi Satanist who reminded me of Stuart Townsend from QUEEN OF THE DAMNED, and a private eye trying to piece it all together in voiceover narration that, again, tells us the meaning of disconnected images presented onscreen as a supposed narrative construct that makes ZERO SENSE. The piece concludes with the film's favorite image: someone's brain frying & sizzling the skin right off as their head shakes back & forth like a mechanical paint can shaker. The same image is repeated three [3] times; once in each segment, with increasingly graphic violence each time.

It was after realizing this during the second viewing that I got wise and actually READ THE CREDITS at the end, and all three segments were directed by the same nobody [John Carr, "announced" by the IMDB as the director of an upcoming remake of DILLINGER] and using my overactive little brain, I think I see what is going on here: These are three feature length films, unless I am mistaken, that have been condensed & edited down into one 90 minute or so take that pretends that they are part of a different larger whole: the direction of the "linking" segments with Cameron Mitchell are credited to the film's writer: what the Hell else could be going on here? The John Phillip Law Asylum story is the grabber: it has sick asylum sleeze knee deep, a nice walk-in cooler room filled with hacked off body parts, naked boobs, and John Phillip Law playing a maniac. The last story was too complicated & I just laugh at it. The second segment has -- dare I say? -- a Jess Francoian air to it of cheapness, immediacy and deceptively tacky costumes. I honestly don't know what to make of this movie: It can be found on Brentwood Home Video's DEADTIME STORIES box set with like nine other movies you will also watch more than once, and on a $6 Platinum Disc Corp. DVD with that uncut/lbx version of THE DEVIL'S NIGHTMARE that everyone releases at some point. Hell I may even take a stab at it. I have shopped for old pre-record VHS and am finding references to a Prism Video release from 1985 as "uncut" and then a 1988 Star Classics version that is presumably what this was made from -- Brentwood's box has a better looking DVD version, but then again they aren't cramming three other movies into the pressing. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING??

Reviewed by one4now4 5 / 10

Talk about stimuli!


This is a grab bag of a movie, with all sorts of things to offer as long as you don't expect to see a conventional film in any way, shape, or form. It has gore, nudity, bondage, humor, stupid stuff, smart stuff, and everything in between, AND MORE! I had to cut loose with this one, it's so much weird fun. I have to wonder what it would be like to watch this one on any kind of drugs. What we have is a train carrying a kitschy 1980s new wave band doing some hilariously dated vintage-MTV-style routines. Also on board are God and "Mr. Satan", who are engaged in competition for souls of some other people supposedly on the same train. (Of note also is the small role of the conductor, who has some cool, darkly humorous dialogue.) We get to see the cases of the people whose souls for which God and Satan are vying for, which, in actuality, are three different movies (the unfinished movie "Scream Your Head Off", "Death Wish Club", and "Cataclysm") cut down to size for your warped, brain-numbing enjoyment. Two of these entries feature Charles (a.k.a. Richard, or "Bull" from "Night Court") Moll! My favorite of all the stories is definitely the one that was culled from "Scream Your Head Off", which would've been a cool movie if they would have been able to complete it. What a shame! I swear Richard Moll makes for one memorable psycho in that one. Another thing I love is what God has to say about rock n' roll music! I tell you, if God were this cool, I'd be in church everyday! I dig this whole paste-up movie, as you can tell. It's this wild overload of stimuli, like they were just taking everything weird and off-the-wall they could think of and tossing it into one big, freaky mixing bowl. I admit the "Cataclysm" entry is more sluggish, but it's interesting in a lot of its own ways. (I love the on-air speech Moll gives: "What I'm about to say will cause you pain...") I am glad I was able to find this forgotten extravaganza of stylishly bad cinema for only two dollars, because it is loads of wacky fun.

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