"Kantemir" is mind-numbingly awful, and you wouldn't think it was going
to be that bad when it started. The look of the movie is great--nice
colors, decent cinematography, and decent mood-setting music. And then,
as luck would have, the characters begin to speak...
The participants have all gathered in a remote setting (natch) to rehearse a play. Most of them are washed-up actors, newbies, or just wannabes. Robert Englund (of "Nightmare on Elm Street" fame) plays the lead. It seems he is estranged from his daughter and is trying to make amends. You never really find out definitively WHY he's estranged, although I think it may have had something to do with his drinking.
The remaining cast is a collection of caricatures: a nymphette who will screw anybody to further her (nudge/nudge, wink/wink) career, the stoner, the wife of the alcoholic Englund, an innocent, wide- eyed virginal girl (who looks like she's just been hit in the head with a brick), and the director/author of the play.
This is without a doubt one of the worst movies ever made. The "writer" of this script should be drawn and quartered. The dialogue in here is so cliché-ish, so hackneyed, so tedious, it's worse than listening to nails on a chalkboard. The viewer is expected to believe the actors for this play are somehow transformed into the characters of the play because of some curse. I lamented in another review about how Eric Roberts must have hit rock bottom for his appearance. Such much be the case for Robert Englund. This POS is beneath him, and I don't know why he touched it with a 10-foot pole.
Rated R for violence. NOT RECOMMENDED.
A group of actors gather in a remote Northeastern town to rehearse for a mysterious stage production, only to be plunged into a hellish world where their real lives mirror the grisly story of the play. John (ROBERT ENGLUND), a notorious horror movie icon, who has fallen from grace, witnesses the murder of a cast member but when he alerts the group, no one believes him, and the harder he pushes to persuade them, the more unstable he appears. As John struggles to retain his sanity, a cat and mouse game ensues between him and the mysterious director, Nicholas. As the theatre games continue and the actors slip further into their roles, the body count rises.
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